Lyrics

Straight from the barbershop
To the emergency room
I had to take the bus with Gus
All the way through
Dr. Spock, he said he's seen this before
But not since Ratt came to town
Go ‘round and ‘round
He said, “There's nothin' I can do for you, boy.
It's too late, too late.
But my brother's an attorney if you're gonna press charges.”

Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel

I knew that I had to cut it
Just buzz it off and say fuck it
Party out back, vokuhila
Get me the fuck out of here

Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel

In the sixth century A.D., Byzantine scholar Procopius wrote that some factions of young males wore their hair long at the back and cut it short over the forehead. This non-Roman style was termed the 'hunnic', or in our modern tongue, ‘hockey hair.’

By fiscal year 1987, 93 percent of young males grew their hair long only in the back and 97 percent listed the mullet as their hairstyle of choice. In calendar years 1988, 1989, 1990 and 91, more humans wore mullets than any other hairstyle, making the mullet the most proliferated aesthetic abomination of last 1400 years.

M-U-L-L-E-T
Help me!
Oh God!

Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker, sphinx sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel

I knew that I had to cut it
Just buzz it off and say fuck it
Party out back, vokuhila
Get me the fuck out of here